A Perfect Moment in a Perfect Day

cropped-cropped-cropped-cropped-cropped-cropped-cropped-13052500_1712669255679044_927132548_o1-1.jpgI had the best day today. My son James’ school was closed for polling day as it was being used as a polling station. The sun was shining for once so off we went on an adventure to Jesmond Dene, which is a local beauty spot that has several of James’ favourite things all rolled into one; a cafe, park, animals , peaceful woods and a river  to walk along and explore.

First we went to the cafe and had jam sandwiches and custard creams. Not healthy but we didn’t care. We had the sole intention of feeling happy today so jam and biscuits hit the spot perfectly.

Next we had fun at the park where James pretended a corner of the slide was a washing machine ( his absolutely favourite object in the world ) No-one seemed to care that there was this bigger kid, obviously way older than the others, making loud swishing noises to mimic the noise of the machine. The other parents smiled because he was smiling and the kids happily manouvered themselves around him.

After that we said Hello to the animals before going for a quick woodland walk and returning to the animal corner for a sit down on a park bench. James was so calm, happy and peaceful and he snuggled himself right into me. As we cuddled I felt calm and peaceful too, like I had heaven right there within me and around me. I wish I could describe it better, it actually felt a bit surreal.

It dawned on me that, in this moment, on this day, nothing else mattered to me. Yesterday was gone, tomorrow wasn’t here yet. I had absolutely no other thoughts other than how lovely this moment felt entering my mind.

Everything that had previously filled my mind just melted away and I felt free from everything that has weighed me down for what feels like a very long time.

James is really very good at taking my hand and teaching me what it is I need to know. He is almost 10 years old, mostly non-verbal and autistic, yet is a master at life already.

He lives for not just today, but right now. At this very second, moment to moment. Don’t ask him what he did yesterday, that’s gone. Tomorrow? A lifetime away, couldn’t care less ( unless school is involved, that’s a different story!)

There’s something to learn here for all of us.

When you were younger, what did you imagine this very point in your life to be like? My plan when I was younger was to mess about in my teens and twenties, grow up and mop up all the mess in my thirties, settle down and be a pillar of the community by my forties, then grow old disgracefully and be a total embarrassment to my children from there on in ( that bit still stands, sorry kids!)

So far, not exactly running to plan. I am a 41 year old single parent, my youngest has a disability, and I’ve just been made redundant (from nursing, which my career adviser assured me would always be a dead cert for being in work ). I am taking a huge leap and making my business my sole income from now on. No more complaining about doing something that makes me feel unhappy.

It’s good to have a loose plan for the future, to formulate goals to work towards. Think about it, give it shape and substance, feed it with the odd daydream, then put it in an imaginary balloon and let it go. If it’s meant for you it will happen, but let the universe get on with ironing out the details. Don’t interfere with ‘hows’ and ‘when’s’. You’re annoying when you do that and you just get in the way.

Remember this though, when you are in that lovely little daydream. When tomorrow comes, this perfect image you have created and manifested, what will it feel like? Today was the perfect future last week/ month/ year and you’re still not bloody happy. How do you feel about the past now that it’s behind you? That was the future at some point a long time ago.

My point is, the only moment in time that should really matter is this one. This second of this day.

Unless you are in a life or death situation ( in which case, what are you doing reading this? Run away!), you have all you need.

At this point in time you are alive, you have enough to live and breathe in this moment. If something comes along in the next moment you can decide then how to tackle it. Know that life has prepared you with the skills to deal with it when it comes, but it’s not here yet so don’t worry about it.

Each day give yourself a moment like I was given today. Sit, breathe, and just BE. It’s like plugging in your phone charger and it’s absolutely essential to give your mind the nourishment it needs to tackle the next challenge.

 

 

 

Gallery

Look Mummy……..Angels!

Someone told me a few months ago I had to be brave. I’ve spent most of my life hiding away,avoiding any kind of attention or exposure to who I really am. I have some very close friends who know me very well but it is only a select few who know me inside and out. Its been a really testing year and I find myself facing challenges I didn’t think I was capable of and so I’ve spent a much of this year feeling afraid but determined to change all that isn’t working in my life. Much of this fear comes from worrying about what other people think of me or being afraid of letting other people down. But how can I encourage my children to be their true selves in the world,charge forth and conquer if Im not brave enough to do it myself?

Some of you already know my hidden self. If you don’t,it’s not that I don’t trust you to know,but it’s a little like Pandora’s Box-I had to be ready to open it.

I believe in Angels. I don’t see them but I feel them. I’ve asked for signs that they were there and they’ve given them to me. I didn’t always believe in them. I was in the supermarket one day and without thinking I put a book about angels in my basket. When I got home I pulled it out of the bag and I couldn’t remember buying it. I’ve usually practically read a book by the time I’ve bought it so this was very unusual. As I had it,I thought Id better read it. It was about a woman who could see and talk with angels as if they were you or me. I thought she had lost the plot.Her family had been told when she was a child that she had special needs as she lived in a world of her own. She found interaction with others very difficult and was very different from her brothers and sisters.  The authorities wanted to place her in a home but her parents loved her and wanted to care for her despite it all and told them where they could stick their home. They still believed she had special needs but decided that if they taught her how to survive in the world,gave her life skills and loved her enough,she would be allright.

Well it was like a thunderbolt from up above. My son James had been diagnosed with autism the year before. It was like being hit by a bus. I spent a month on my knees,crying and begging,praying it was wrong. It was like a bereavement. I grieved for the child I thought I had that was now lost. I cried for the future I had created for him in my mind. For the children and the wife he may never have. I watched his older brother Harry’s friends on the playground running away from their little brother’s of James age and saw the hurt in Harry’s eyes that his own little brother didn’t play with him and I was heartbroken. After this horrible dark month,I woke up one morning and realised this was helping no-one. James hadn’t died,he was alive and healthy and beautiful and desperately loved. So, I made him a promise. I looked at him and promised that no matter what,Autism was a part of his identity but I wouldn’t let it claim him. I decided that the best plan of action would be to tackle whatever the main problem holding him back at any one time and help him get over it. I would be open to anything as long as it wasn’t invasive and didn’t hurt him. Trouble was how would I know if it was hurting him? He couldn’t speak!! The rule became,whatever I was to try for him I would do it too,just so I knew how it felt. We have been on quite a little journey me and James. Chiropractic first to help him walk,gluten free diet ( which was as if someone had switched a light on. I’ll never forget the look on Harrys face the first time James pounced on him to play,only 3 days into the diet) Kinesiology followed,then crystal healing and Reiki.

So,I was reading this book and,after a chapter or two,I started to see James. What if he wasnt alone in this little world of his? What if he had company and I just couldnt see them? I began to see him in a new light. Who was  making him laugh when he was sitting by himself? When he was looking over my shoulder who was he really seeing? What if he was seeing Angels?

I told my friend Janet about the book and asked her what she thought. She told me she had believed for ages and had been itching to tell me but had to wait until I was ready. I asked her if she thought James could see Angels and she suggested asking him. That posed a problem. He was in a world of his own. It was as if he was in a glass bubble,where he couldnt reach us and we couldnt reach him. We had no eye contact,speech,communication of any kind. He seemed oblivious to our existence unless custard creams were involved,at which time he screamed like a banshee until one was placed in each hand,(bright lad,God did after all grant him two hands so of course Mum should therefore grant him two biscuits!) Hmmm,just ask him Janet said,see what happens….

After his bath one night,I was getting him ready for bed when I asked him,” James do you see Angels?” Then,this little unreachable boy,who had no eye contact or communication skills whatsoever looked deep into my eyes,as if he could see my soul,and smiled his biggest smile. It was all the proof I needed.

So,there you have it. That was the beginning. I know many of you will be sceptical,if I was reading this I would be too. I’m not trying to lead you into believing as I do,I’m simply telling our story. Believe me,as a mental health nurse,I have questioned this over and over and if you think I’m a desperate mother trying to fit her child in somewhere he doesn’t seem to fit and even a bit delusional then I can live with that. I don’t blame you. I’ll still love you all the same.

 

 

 

 

Updates

Hi everyone. I’m currently updating my website to include all of my current stock and also the therapies I have on offer at the moment.I hope to have this ready in the next week or so,before it is all unveiled! I have some lovely sparkly goodies for you and Im also working on a beautiful hand woven sterling silver pendant with a sterling silver handmade chain. 

Payments Update

I can now take payments either through PayPal if you have a PayPal account or over the phone using a chip and pin device, which you would involve you giving me your card details over the phone. It is very secure and uses WorldPay Zinc xx

Boldon Fair

I’ve been working at Boldon Healing and Psychic Fair on the First Sunday of each month and its been very successful! I offer Angelic Reiki Taster Sessions for £10 and sell my jewellery and Suncatchers there as well. The next fair is on Sunday 6th October between 10-4 pm www.boldonfair.co.uk

Find Me Here!

You can find me at Boldon Fair on Sunday 6th October
and Sunday 3rd November between 10-4pm and also at
Northern Natural Therapies Christmas Fair on Saturday 23rd November between 10-3pm at Northern Regional Rugby Club in Gosforth, which is in aid of The Great North Air Ambulance

Payments

At the minute I can only accept payment by cheque (or cash if you are local) but soon I hope to be able to accept credit/debit cards to make life a little easier.Initially this will be over the phone via a worldpay card terminal,but all being well in the coming months I hope to set up a paypal option as well,watch this space !

new!!!

Ive added some new items to my pages,summer holidays and angels and dragonflies pics 2013 july august 124 this beautiful amethyst cross pendant summer holidays and angels and dragonflies pics 2013 july august 128This carnelian dragonfly necklace andsummer holidays and angels and dragonflies pics 2013 july august 130this grounding haematite pendant,have a look!summer holidays and angels and dragonflies pics 2013 july august 129This little butterfly sold very quickly so didnt make it to my selling pages but i thought you might like to take a little look anyway.Im sure if you really wanted one I could make a similar one,although they are never going to be exactly the same xx

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