I had the best day today. My son James’ school was closed for polling day as it was being used as a polling station. The sun was shining for once so off we went on an adventure to Jesmond Dene, which is a local beauty spot that has several of James’ favourite things all rolled into one; a cafe, park, animals , peaceful woods and a river to walk along and explore.
First we went to the cafe and had jam sandwiches and custard creams. Not healthy but we didn’t care. We had the sole intention of feeling happy today so jam and biscuits hit the spot perfectly.
Next we had fun at the park where James pretended a corner of the slide was a washing machine ( his absolutely favourite object in the world ) No-one seemed to care that there was this bigger kid, obviously way older than the others, making loud swishing noises to mimic the noise of the machine. The other parents smiled because he was smiling and the kids happily manouvered themselves around him.
After that we said Hello to the animals before going for a quick woodland walk and returning to the animal corner for a sit down on a park bench. James was so calm, happy and peaceful and he snuggled himself right into me. As we cuddled I felt calm and peaceful too, like I had heaven right there within me and around me. I wish I could describe it better, it actually felt a bit surreal.
It dawned on me that, in this moment, on this day, nothing else mattered to me. Yesterday was gone, tomorrow wasn’t here yet. I had absolutely no other thoughts other than how lovely this moment felt entering my mind.
Everything that had previously filled my mind just melted away and I felt free from everything that has weighed me down for what feels like a very long time.
James is really very good at taking my hand and teaching me what it is I need to know. He is almost 10 years old, mostly non-verbal and autistic, yet is a master at life already.
He lives for not just today, but right now. At this very second, moment to moment. Don’t ask him what he did yesterday, that’s gone. Tomorrow? A lifetime away, couldn’t care less ( unless school is involved, that’s a different story!)
There’s something to learn here for all of us.
When you were younger, what did you imagine this very point in your life to be like? My plan when I was younger was to mess about in my teens and twenties, grow up and mop up all the mess in my thirties, settle down and be a pillar of the community by my forties, then grow old disgracefully and be a total embarrassment to my children from there on in ( that bit still stands, sorry kids!)
So far, not exactly running to plan. I am a 41 year old single parent, my youngest has a disability, and I’ve just been made redundant (from nursing, which my career adviser assured me would always be a dead cert for being in work ). I am taking a huge leap and making my business my sole income from now on. No more complaining about doing something that makes me feel unhappy.
It’s good to have a loose plan for the future, to formulate goals to work towards. Think about it, give it shape and substance, feed it with the odd daydream, then put it in an imaginary balloon and let it go. If it’s meant for you it will happen, but let the universe get on with ironing out the details. Don’t interfere with ‘hows’ and ‘when’s’. You’re annoying when you do that and you just get in the way.
Remember this though, when you are in that lovely little daydream. When tomorrow comes, this perfect image you have created and manifested, what will it feel like? Today was the perfect future last week/ month/ year and you’re still not bloody happy. How do you feel about the past now that it’s behind you? That was the future at some point a long time ago.
My point is, the only moment in time that should really matter is this one. This second of this day.
Unless you are in a life or death situation ( in which case, what are you doing reading this? Run away!), you have all you need.
At this point in time you are alive, you have enough to live and breathe in this moment. If something comes along in the next moment you can decide then how to tackle it. Know that life has prepared you with the skills to deal with it when it comes, but it’s not here yet so don’t worry about it.
Each day give yourself a moment like I was given today. Sit, breathe, and just BE. It’s like plugging in your phone charger and it’s absolutely essential to give your mind the nourishment it needs to tackle the next challenge.